So I’m one of those types.
I can’t get into my day without making my bed. The rest of my house may be a wreck but my bed is made. It’s not about having a tidy house either. It’s something entirely different. If you are one of those types like me, you understand this.
Now before you start thinking that I”m some sort of control freak, or neat person or whatever….I can assure you I’m not. I simply like the way it feels when the bed gets put back together again after a night of sleep. It makes me feel, well, right. Moreover, when I come back to my bed at the end of the day it makes me feel even better. I hate returning to my bed in the evening when the blankets and pillows are all piled up in a ball. I have to wrestle the sheets and blankets back into place before I can climb in. Who wants that? I mean, am I crazy to prefer a made up bed at the end of the day?
Don’t answer that!
Well, today I started to think, maybe I was a little over the top with the whole bed making thing. It’s only a bed. Is it really that big of a deal? I wondered if I could simply leave it and walk away. I wondered what it would feel like? I wondered if it would consume my thoughts like an itch you have to scratch but you are not in a place to scratch it? I wondered if other things in my day would feel disheveled too?
So I tried it.
I simply walked away from the bed when I got up this morning. When I got out of the shower and dressed, I just looked at it. Pausing to feel the awkwardness of the moment.
“No, I’m not going to make you.” I literally said out loud.
I wanted to know what what would happen if I just let it go for a day?
So off into the day I went. I quickly forgot about the bed as I busied myself with my to-do list. I have a sizable amount of things to do on this unmade bed day. Off to retrieve an item at the store. I couldn’t find it. Fortunately, store number two had it. I returned only to realize that I had more stops to make…and I forgot. “Alas, that can wait.” I thought.
More work to do.
Lost in the twilight zone of bill paying I faintly remember that I had never received a bill that I know should have come. After some quick checking. YES! There was a bill, I never received notification. It was due… 5 days ago.
Feeling a little drained I continue on. Gathering towels to throw in the washing machine I heard the bed speak, “Hello. It’s me, the unmade bed. Look at how messy I am.” Trying to ignore the voice and the scene I keep going but felt a little off.
I have some orders I need to fill for customers of mine so I get busy making. I love “making”. Grabbing my blow torch, (yes I really use one) I can’t turn the valve on. I try and try and try. Not so much. My anger is growing on this disheveled day. I cannot do my “making” without my blow torch!!!! Come on! Now I have to find a different method, a more difficult method. So I begin and things begin to break. This stinks! My attitude reflects the stench.
Leaving my “making” for something different I again have to pass my catastrophe of a bed. “Do you see me?” The unmade bed says. “Isn’t this really bugging you? You’ll feel better if you just make me.” Fighting the urge to order the sheets and blankets I reply, “No. I’m going to make it through a day without making my bed. I am not controlled by the disheveled-ness of my bed! I will win this battle.”
Yes, now I am in a full fledged war with my bed, my day and my attitude! Little things distract me, annoy me, find me grumpy. The Schwann’s Truck pulls up and the Schwann’s man comes to the door. We NEVER have the Schwann’s man in our neighborhood. I’m good. I don’t your frozen foods, really!!! Grrrrummmph.
I’m flustered. I have more work to accomplish but now I don’t know where to begin. What should get done first? The dog, she needs attention, right?
So I’m playing with this silly hound and she paws me in the face. A nice steady scratch runs down my chin. Grabbing my chin, out we go. Clearly, she needs to run so I throw the frisby.
She lays down.
I can’t win.
I’m tired and frustrated. So I decide, I just need a 15 minute siesta! Yea, that will work. Climbing into my bed I try to see if rest will come to me in this sloppy place. I close my eyes. My body flops back and forth. The bed is just not feeling right. How is this possible when it feels right all night long?
Can’t do it.
“See, I told you it wouldn’t work.” The bed mocks me.
Out to do some weeding in the garden. Prick my finger on some spike-y weed I jump only to narrowly escape the attack of a giant 2 foot spider whose web I almost fell into. (Ok, yea, she really was that big!!!) Her domain is too vast to reach around her. She scares me. I’m not going to finish weeding while she is here.
I go back inside to try and get more “making” work done. Notice the house is stuffy. The air conditioner is on, what’s the deal? I go to the fuse box, the fuse is blown.
Try to “make” more things. I break more things.
My unmade bed continues to mock me from upstairs.
6:00 p.m. I’m hungry. I pull out the 1/2 eaten burrito from last night. I heat it up. I need a bit of something crunchy. No tortilla chips!
I need things to get right. I need to feel right. My Bible Study! Yea! That will help. I literally gasp out loud.
I read Psalm 123:3 “Have mercy on us, O LORD, have mercy on us, for we have endured much contempt.” (NIV)
YES! This is exactly how I feel. Contempt coming from my unmade bed. Contempt for this day because of all that didn’t work the way I thought it should!
And then I read from Beth Moore,
“God wants our eyes fixed upward like someone down on her knees at His feet. We tend to focus on the most obvious. God wants to equip us with a vision that sees higher, deeper and broader than our physical realities.”
In that moment I’m stung with the truth. It wasn’t my bed being left unmade today. It was me, my disheveled, unmade self fixed my eyes on the obvious, the mess, focusing only on what went wrong. The unmade bed had won and it was never about the bed to begin with.
I’m convicted. I want to see higher, deeper, and broader. I don’t want to feel the disheveling of this day anymore .
So I look up and ask for forgiveness for my “suckie” attitude, for letting the messy steal my focus, and for allowing what went wrong to rule my perspective. It’s 7p.m. I begin this day again….
…..and I go make my bed. 🙂