When Nothing Changes and Nothing Stays the Same

There are some people in my family who have been wearing certain clothing items for a long, L-O-N-G, time.  These clothes are allegedly, ahem, “broken in” and so comfy that they just a can’t seem to get rid of them or not wear them.

Are you like this?


I’m not.

I can’t fill the Goodwill bag fast enough.  My motto is if you haven’t worn it in a year, you’re not ever going to wear it again.  Get rid of it.  But that’s me. I like to make room for change.  I like to see what else I can find. 

But this isn’t the case for everyone in my world.  Some loved ones don’t like to let go; they don’t see any reason for new when old still seems to work. So what if it’s dated or discolored.

New can be a threat for some and same a choke-hold for others.

It’s tricky.  Bumping around life together.  One likes things the way they are and the other runs from ritual.  We inevitable annoy the heck out of each other.

If you are a same-r you may find yourselves clutching for control, easily upset if something gets changed without notice.  Maybe you avoid trendsetting types altogether because people who move around a lot make you uncomfortable?

Or if you’re a new-r , you may find that you have no patience for traditionalists or home-bodies.  Maybe you become critical and judgmental towards others who do not like to keep evolving and forging?

We become separate and not our best self in our own families and homes. A tense undercurrent tugs over things like rearranging furniture, meal planning for Thanksgiving or how to spend free time together.


Today is laundry day.

Piles of clothes old and new, twirling in the washer then bouncing around in a hot dryer.  Old mixing with new. Water and soap scrubbing away the dirt, heat making the fabric warm and crisp. Both surviving the wash together and coming out the other side.

Maybe there’s something here for us to learn?

I thought about the same-r’s in my life.  I thought about how they hold on to the familiar, repeat treasured recipes and reminisce over fond memories of holidays and vacations. They linger over warm experiences. They pause and reflect the good that has crossed lifes’ threshold. Gratitude expands. We need same-r’s to help us remember the things worthy of remembrance. We exhale appreciation.

And what about the new-r’s? They like the practice of searching and enjoy solving mysteries. Trying new things and finding new roads is like Christmas morning.  They tend to paint walls, try different recipes or watch unknown movies just because it’s different.  They get you to color outside the lines, try things you’ve never tried and consider others different from you. Confidence flourishes. We need new-r’s to help us realize we are capable of learning, capable of experiencing life no matter what stage we are in. We inhale courage.

We need each other.

Tumbling around. Mixing it up. Old and new.

Nothing changes and nothing stays the same.

Wash warm together on gentle cycle, tumble dry low.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s